Reply to Our daughter “married well.” Nobody is happy about it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you saying you’d be happy to provide full time day care following all the parenting requirements your daughter and son in law have if they moved near you? You’d give only the foods they approve, take the kid to all the activities they want, follow their screen limits, toy rules, etc? [/quote]

Are you kidding, of course [b]I would happily provide any day care duties. Just as my parents and my husband’s parents were always nearby and there for me when our children were growing up.[/b] It’s not just day care or providing a helping hand, it’s proximity to be there and watch them grow up. It’s painful to be so far away and know strangers are raising a grandchild. I keep using “strangers” because that is what is happening. I am not anti day care, I am underscoring how un-well “marrying well” turned out to be.

Another user asked why don’t we move near them: Because they are fairly rootless workaholics and go where their careers take them. They will likely bounce around and job hop for the next 30 years.[/quote]

Maybe. They. Don't. Want. You. Raising. These. Kids. You really do need to grapple with that possibility. If my mother considered me a "fairly rootless workaholic" and took something I'd said to her about an (utterly normal and predictable) sexual lull and blasted it all over the internet, I wouldn't want her raising my kids either.

It is remarkable that you are convinced that your daughter not being [i]ecstatically happy right now[/i] means that she's not happy with who she married, or how "well" she did. Nothing you have said is convincingly establishing that she herself is "not happy about it." This is not a small difference in word choice. It may be a very profound difference in how you each see her life, and she may just not be having your analysis of it, or wanting that analysis as a day-to-day aspect of her life.

YTA[/quote]

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