Reply to 19 Yo son (college freshman home) never came home last night

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- he was ok and at a friends house - I figured he was ok- but still aggravated. I tracked him down and he called me back finally from friends phone.
   I appreciate all the comments on DCMF and feel most agreed ok to have expectation of letting parents know if not coming home. 
    He knew we were pissed-  big reason is was New Year’s Eve and second time in one week.
    I did yell at him ( after telling him I wanted to talk after cooling down but he wanted to talk now).  So he knows how frustrating it is to wonder if all ok.  And how simple it would be to just text us his general plan.
   I asked him how he might think we’d feel this morning when walked into his room and him not being there and no text and 4 am driving.
    [/quote]

Op your kid is not going to come home next break.  You called his friends?  You yelled at him?  That’s not how adults treat each other.  That’s not ‘common courtesy’. You can’t have it both ways.  And then what, are you going to threaten to ‘cut him off’ monetarily if he doesn’t come home next Christmas? He will eventually meet a woman get married and move across the country with your grandchildren and you will come back here complaining About adult children being ungrateful.  I mean this kindly:  you need to let go of your old patterns of controllling him.  Or he will very naturally and understandably pull away from you in a very painful way. [/quote]

Oh stop with the drama. He wasn’t coming home for his next break whether or not this happened. The next break is spring break. OP’s kid will be with every other 19 year and will be somewhere warm. [/quote]

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