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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Trying to navigate this and feeling caught in the middle.

My husband has always been on the conservative side. Our eldest daughter is 23 and living in NYC since after she graduated college. She has a good job and supports herself. She’s coming home for Christmas with her boyfriend, who is 25. They’ve been dating a year but [b]this is his first time here since we’ve always visited them[/b].

My husband said he had to sleep in the den, which has a pullout couch and glass doors, since my husband doesn’t feel comfortable with them sleeping in her room. I let my daughter know that and she balked. She then let me know that they’re just going to stay in a hotel. But the only one with affordable availability is 25 minutes away, each way, which means they will be here significantly less. My husband got angry about it and said she’ll barely be around and it feels disrespectful to him that they can’t go without sleeping in the same room to the point they’d waste visiting time and money on a hotel room. My daughter isn’t budging. How would you handle this?[/quote]
Where did they stay when you visited? Did they stay together? Sleeping in the same bed? In their own place? 
I don't get the indignation that "no daughter of mine will stay in a room with her unmarried bf!" if theyve clearly already been doing this. I 100% get your house, your rules, but would he say the same thing about your 45 y/o sister coming with her bf? Or what about sons? I agree with a pp who said this is largely a mysognistic view and would be different with male adult children. [/quote]

+100. Oh the different treatment for sons and daughters. My parents forbid my sister and I from sharing rooms with our long-term boyfriends and eventually fiancées. But my brother and his boyfriend have always gotten to share a room, no questions asked. Red carpet rolled out for brother and boyfriend, let me tell you. And I’m glad for them, but it’s so unfair.[/quote]

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