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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]	Think, op, if you redo the kitchen, will you be happy? My concern is that you won’t be, that you’ll see it as a reminder of all the things your husband didn’t care about. 
I think too, this is how some women and I am a woman, turn into toddlers when making a big purchase, we know our husbands will never ever “let” if you will, us modify whatever thing the real estate agent or the car salesman says can “be done later”. We know who we married. 
I’m also not sure it’s fair to hold someone to promises they made ten years ago. My husband and I bought a hybrid car back in 2004. We were told that we’d have to replace the battery in 10 years and we were told how much it would cost, a few grand, but since we’d just bought a whole entire car, our first as a married couple, the car we’d hoped to bring our children home from the hospital in, and ten years was a long way away, it wasn’t anything to think about. Ten years later, we had one kid, I was expecting our second and the car had had issues, broke down several times, and we’d moved twice meaning we were no longer near the mechanic who seemed to be the only mechanic who could or would work on the car. The car also didn’t have Bluetooth which wasn’t a problem in 2004, but it became one once we moved to Maryland in 2014. Was I not supposed to move to Maryland because the car wouldn’t like it? Really? Was my husband not supposed to use his phone while he was driving because “you all chose that car way back when, you should have anticipated”. No, the car no longer met our needs, that was all. Oh, and those other issues, the heat didn’t work and we were paying more to “try and fix it” plus the discomfort of no heat, not having a car while it’s in the shop… again, and still having the f**cker break down just as my husband left the shop, the mechanic had fixed the heat, unfortunately, making sure the car could and would successfully drive wasn’t high on his priority list. All this to say, it became clear we simply needed a new car. Also, we did replace the battery, on schedule, the car was in the shop for that too because that’s where it goes when the battery needs to be replaced, and less then a year later, I’d had enough. The car was sold. We by no means got our money’s worth out of the replacement battery, and yes, the car still had issues, broke down with my newborn in it, heat was still an issue. 
My husband has some anxiety around money too and maybe some slight autism, all that is fine, I got to a point where I channeled my inner feminist and told him what we were doing. 
For you, op, I’d fix the kitchen or if this really isn’t about the kitchen, I’d figure out what it is. Have you told your husband “I’d not care so much about the kitchen, but the little things I want, companionship, experiences I’d like to have with you, whatever, you don’t seem to want to do, but we all use the kitchen, I need to know you care about me, do you want to focus on smaller things, or would you like me to schedule a contractor. 
I really do think the real estate agents are too lax about “just renovate” or “just remodel” and they are good at using psychological pressure “You all have to decide” “don’t argue you two, you are such a cute couple” when all us ladies are trying to do is point out to our husbands why we don’t like the house we are looking at. We aren’t fighting, we aren’t mad, we don’t “lack vision”, we simply don’t like the house the dimwit agent is trying to sell us.    
[/quote]
Sometimes it is just about the kitchen. No need to write a novel.[/quote]

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