Reply to Did not get into Georgetown or Notre Dame. Now what?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is crushed. Trying to regroup.   Ideas.  Thoughts. [/quote]

I posted in another group that one of my high school acquaintances left Penn State after sophomore year to transfer to Yale.  That was surprising to me.

When a dream opportunity fails to materialize, it seems to me it's worth asking: 1) how else can I achieve/get something similar and 2) is it possible to try again?

If this is soul-crushing...what about a (working) gap year or transferring after a first year spent elsewhere.

Does it have to be a Catholic school?

I have a family member who attended Pitt undergrad and Georgetown grad.  Try Pitt maybe?[/quote]
True. A transfer wouldn't be for everyone, but for those absolutely set on these schools, it's something to consider. Don't forget to do service hours and demonstrate a Catholic identity in the year in between (assuming you are Catholic). Of course, odds are that he likes where he goes and is no longer interested in a transfer.[/quote]

I am the PP who posted about the Yale transfer.  I wanted to reflect a little more on OP's situation.

As I mentioned, my DH went to Georgetown for grad school.  Decades ago.  He lived with Georgetown undergrads in a ratty house just north of campus.  Roommates were nice, but we detected absolutely no religious aspect to their school or personal lives.  They were partiers.  The grad school also had no religious content.  So, I think it's quite possible to have a very secular experience at Georgetown.  Also, my DH was from a LMC background and even then Georgetown definitely felt like a rich kid school.  The grad program he attended was not well-run but he got a free ride.  So, as a family we have mixed feelings about the school.  We took our son to visit Georgetown, GWU, and AU and none of them clicked for him.

Now on to what I think is the main issue, which is that older sibling got in to these schools and younger sibling did not.  This is the only issue which cannot be undone, so this is what I would be most careful about.

I like the idea of attending the school (whichever it is) that allows guaranteed transfer to Notre Dame.  If that's truly the goal, then younger sibling would end up with the same accomplishment as older sibling, though by a slightly different route.  A route that would demonstrate humility and determination which are both praiseworthy characteristics.  Admissions officers like to see determination, compelling interest, etc.

In no way should anyone communicate to a child that they should be devastated by not getting into a school of choice.  For middle class families with good health and stable incomes, that is unreasonable catastrophizing.  Our economy and careers are frequently destabilizing.  Learning to quickly plot and execute effective and satisfying responses to setbacks is critical for successful adults in our current economy.

I admire the OP for reaching out for help now so that OP can counsel the child on alternatives and strategies.  But it is very important for the parent to be braver and calmer than the child.  Especially given the older sibling's success.  I would describe the outcome as "just dumb luck" if these were my children.  Post-gaming the app, credentials, test scores, etc. will be saddening.

My family is banking a bit too much on one school to come through, but we also discussed backup plans before apps were even sent in.

I've never forgotten the example of that kid who left PSU for Yale. It reminds me that some barriers to entry are flimsier than we think.  I assume he always wanted Ivy because I know that he and a group of friends from his senior class applied to Princeton and all were rejected.  At the time, applying to an Ivy was quite an outlier situation for my high school. So, thanks to you, BigLaw Lee, for following your dream! I learned a lot from you just by being determination-adjacent! Maybe you or your wife are reading this board right now! 😀

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