Reply to Should a deadbeat dad be invited to a college graduation?

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Reply to "Should a deadbeat dad be invited to a college graduation?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s up to your son. This is his achievement, not your. [/quote]

I will be candid since this is anonymous. [b]I totally disagree with you. It is also my achievement. [/b]Raising him by myself with no money from his dad. Were it not for me, he is not in college, let alone graduating. Were it up to his father, he'd possibly be in jail. Who knows.[/quote]

This is the problem, OP. You are viewing the graduation as a chance to pat yourself on the back for helping your kid get to/through college. You do deserve a pat on the back for that, but the graduation ceremony is not it. That is about your kid feeling proud of his accomplishment, and about him wanting to know that his parent (parents?) are also proud. If your son has been rejected by his dad his whole life not having him at the ceremony may feel like one more rejection. If dad comes, hugs him, puts on a show with new wife and takes a picture, that might feel good. IDK, I'm not your kid. But you spewing bitterness about the dad joining in on your day is not the way to go.

When is graduation? Do you have time to talk to a therapist about this? If you can get yourself to the point where you can have a mature conversation with your son about it, that might actually be really healing for both of you. But you are not there yet.[/quote]

I'm really not putting the milestone on a pedestal at all. Maybe I'll get more emotional about it when it happens, I'm not sure. [b]And I'm not bitter at all.[/b] I'm just trying to be open and honest in an anonymous thread.[b] I don't think it's appropriate for a deadbeat who was most detrimental to this even happening, who didn't pay a cent of the degree's six-figure cost, should bask in the perceived parental glory of it, put on a charade, and con his wife (and social media friend group).[/b] If my son wants to see him a day before or day after, so be it.[/quote]

OP...I'm not sure what you think "bitter" means, but you are definitely bitter. [/quote]

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