Reply to Do Asian elders typically go to nursing homes?

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Reply to "Do Asian elders typically go to nursing homes?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Usually, elderly people live with their children or in their own homes with help.

It is interesting how it will pan out for all of us (first gen immigrants) as we age here.  My friend who is in her 60s, sold off her house in Frederick after her DH died a few years ago.  She bought a house in Bethesda with her married son, where she has her own independent suite and shares the first floor common area in the house. And she has also bought a house with her daughter in Texas.  Both of her children could not have afforded their homes in good school districts pyramids without her financial support. She has her own space/home which she has paid for,  with both children. She is an extrovert who has her own friend circle, she is helping to raise her grandkids and run the homes (most of it is outsourced but grandma is there to keep an eye on things) and she has in a clever way already helped her kids with their inheritance.

However, right now, she is healthy. Who knows what her situation will be if she becomes infirm.  Yes, a lot of logistics of her care (running the household, food, medicines, paying bills) will be easy because she is already staying with her kids, but life is so uncertain.  We are watching her life unfold and everyone in our friend's circle is making plans for our own aging. What if we become infirm, disabled, lose our memory, lose our family, our spouse?  Yes, it is frightening. But, we do not want to become a burden on our kids and if we live in a joint family we want to add value to our next generation.[/quote]

Your friend is smart. With rising COL and income inequality, it’s hard enough for millennials (and coming generations) to even buy a home. In my case, my home just fits my family of 5 (and that is with 2 kids sharing a bedroom). I have no idea where we’d place an aging parent. Especially with the stairs in our home. And we make decent money (about 300k). But it was so hard to get on the property ladder. Helping her kids buy homes with space for her and then helping with grandkids is a good way to set herself up with goodwill from her children in old age.

It seems these days too many elderly parents don’t want to help with grandkids or anything else, but then expect their kids somehow owe it to them to care for them in old age. Ummm?[/quote]

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