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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think traditional Asian families tend to care for their elderly parents at home, if at all possible. It seems only Americans are eager to quickly find ‘a place for mom’ institution. Unless absolutely necessary, the American way is tragic.[/quote]

Ugh, don’t fall for the myth that home is always better than being in a facility. I’m in lots of family caregiver groups and the stress and resentment towards parents is so high. And many of the children caregivers are late 50’s to well into their 60’s. They have their own health issues. And many are worried they are going to die before their parents because of the stress and no time to take care of their own health. [/quote]

I have relatives in their mid/late 70s who finally had to move an elderly parent to a facility once she turned 100. They themselves have health issues and just could not manage it anymore. They never expected that when an aging parent moved in at 70 it would be a 30 year commitment.!

Everyone is better off now. The 100 year old has memory care issues and could not be safely left alone. Which was unbearable for her adult child and spouse who are now thankfully able to somewhat enjoy retirement before they are too old to travel anymore.

This is the flip side of the coin of healthcare extending people’s lives. All these extra years of life come with a high cost of caregiving that overlaps with other aging/caregiving. I imagine in historically intergenerational cultures, the life expectancy was not so long and also the elderly parents probably helped out with caregiving for grandchildren. I don’t know many grandparents these days who are providing any sort of day to day care for grandkids. It’s unreasonable to expect people to spend decades of their life raising kids and then the next decades of their life taking care of sick, ailing parents until they themselves are sick and ailing. What a cycle.[/quote]

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