Reply to Is being a mom harder than you thought?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Idk why moms have to do 90% of tge child raising on top of doing pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. [/quote]

I used to think this, too. Then I had a child and found out that at least until age 2-3, your child demands you do 90% of the comfort and care regardless of how involved dad is or tries to be. Biology is so strong. We accept this in other animals but for some reason we believe that human babies should be rational and expect dad to do 50% of the caring. I really really wish that were the case.[/quote]

Agreed.  We also don’t accept the changes in the mother due to biology.  My husband would always get up without complaint to tend to the baby in the night if [b]I woke him up![/b]. He could easily sleep through the baby crying.  I could not.  Mothers are uniquely attuned to their babies’ cries - it’s just nature.[/quote]

No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. My husband woke up and was happy to help. Baby rejected him as an infant and a toddler. He takes her alone for hours every day and she still resisted and cried for me, for YEARS.[/quote]

Sounds like there is something wrong with your husband. We split child care literally 50/50 during those years due to work schedules and baby was equally attached to both of us. [/quote]

NP here. I disagree.   Most NT biological children in secure. loving and functional households will naturally prefer the mother when they need soothing at least when they are little.  Your kid was ambivalent towards who provided care mainly because you were an unreliable presence in their life. Or, there is something wrong with you and your kids sensed it.  [/quote]

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