Reply to Do Asian elders typically go to nursing homes?

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[quote=Anonymous]We are Indian. My FIL has a stroke that left him paralyzed. My MIL was very frail and unable to care for him on her own. My inlaws moved in with us for 2-3 years where we hired full-time caregivers to care for him. It cost approximately $60,000/year - and this was lower than expected because we did night time care ourselves. My inlaws didn't have that type of money, so we paid. My spouse and I both work, and our family income was 300,000 at that time. We have 2 kids. We bore the full burden - logistical and financial. The younger siblings didn't have any money or ability to help. It was exhausting.

Eventually the CNAs started cancelling so much that we had to put him in a nursing home. Initially we were horrified and guilt ridden, but then we realized that there actually fewer gaps in coverage, and that the NH was better able to coordinate doctor appointments etc. We are lucky that the NH he lived in had an Indian wing with Indian food, etc. My MIL continued to visit him daily until the day before he died (5 years later).

It wasn't ideal. But not sure our experience was any better or worse than someone entirely at home. It's terrible either way.

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