Reply to Lack of independent play is creating mental health crisis among kids today -- and overprotective parenting is to blame

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't even think that kids even get the concept if free play anymore. The holidays are here, dh has a large family. 10 nieces and nephew all between the ages of 4-13. I swear when we gather for holidays and things that they don't know what to do or how to entertain themselves anymore. They just wander around looking for adults to find them something to do. It's sad really, hanging with my cousins was so great growing up.[/quote]

This definitely isn’t universal… there are 10 grandkids on my side, ages 2-14 (my kids & their cousins). At gatherings, they run around outside, play board games together, play hide & seek, just talk, etc. Usually in smaller groups than 10, but they definitely play independently (except the 2 yo still needs an adult around of course). [/quote]
They can do that because they have in built playmates at gatherings. Do they play outside without any planning when at home?[/quote]

Yes. My younger kid plays outside all the time (likes to imagine things when playing alone), and when they are both home, they play together. For example, raking up a leaf pile & jumping in it the past couple of days. But they aren’t wandering the neighborhood and are just playing with siblings, so for many that wouldn’t count.

PP was describing cousins not playing together— that’s why I responded the way I did originally. [/quote]

Everyone is over focused on this bit about wandering the neighborhood.  The interviewee explained that lack of independent play with other peers negatively impacts mental health because kids don't learn how deal with peers, solve problems, stand up to minor bullying, and then they feel out of control of their lives generally and like victims.  He then suggests that parents in the neighborhood agree that on Friday they send their kids out to play at the same time, and one adult be available nearby.  Ummmmmm, he literally just described a playdate.   :D  :D  :D   What matters here is that you let your kids play with other kids without you (the adults) hovering and refereeing.  It doesn't have to take the form of wandering the neighborhood.  There are so many ways to facilitate this.  The cousin gathering is not inferior to the neighborhood wandering in terms of an opportunity for kids to interact independently with peers (so long as the adults just butt out).  And, honestly, most aftercares I know even fit the bill.  [/quote]

Thanks for your reply. I agree. I SAH, but we often stay at the school playground after school for the kids to play & the parents to chat. The kids in aftercare come to the playground too, snd none of these kids have adults hovering over them. Yes, adults are nearby, but the kids are still playing independently, in my opinion. [/quote]

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