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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What happens if you assign him a list of chores (doing the executive function piece for him) each night so it’s not just you sitting there catching up while he unwinds?

For me that’s the thing that would just be unacceptable. [/quote]

“I’m tired, I need to watch tv. I had a long day. I didn’t sleep well again. I was up early, working.” [/quote]

DP, but this. There is always an excuse.

[b]A lot of this comes down to a game of chicken where my DH is willing to let a lot of things about our kids and our home get REALLY bad before he would step in and actually take the lead on them[/b]. And even then, he'd start with "Hey I noticed the kids fingernails are really long and dirty, we should probably do something about that" before actually doing anything -- "we" in this case means me.

I think I'd have to get like a terminal disease before he'd actually rouse himself to do a lot of this stuff, and even then I know he'd panic and be telling me that he just could never in a million years figure out how to sign our kids up for summer camp on his own, can I do it?

I think if I died, he'd get his mom to come live with him. But she's almost 80.

I can't die.[/quote]

+1000 I think this is the crux of it for a lot of families (and I do not believe that ALL of these DHs have ADHD).  I think women generally have higher standards for things like healthy meals, kid enrichment, clean and organized home.  So a lot of these men aren't shirking in their minds; they just think their wives should chill out more instead of they should be stepping up and doing more.  And honestly?  Sometimes they might be right.  Sometimes. [/quote]

I agree that is true SOMETIMES. I see examples on DCUM all the time where I’m like, that lady needs to chill. But truly I run a bare minimum household, and DH can’t pick up even 20% of that. (DP)[/quote]

Right - sometimes.  Like I have a friend who was complaining to me the other day that she had a work dinner so her DH pulled through a McDonalds rather than cooking their kids a balanced meal like she does every night.  CHILL.  The kids are not going to get scurvy because they eat chicken nuggets once in a blue moon, but she saw this as some huge parenting fail. [/quote]

dp OR perhaps she was disappointed because all he had to do was make ONE dinner and he took the lazy way out. No, it isn't a parenting fail but, now dad is the "fun" one because he bought fast food.  Meanwhile if Mom did that she would be called LAZY[/quote]
Called lazy by whom?????[/quote]

Don't pay dumb...( i'm the pp)  [/quote]
No, I really want to know. “If Mom did that she would be called LAZY” by…the dad? the kids? [/quote]

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