Reply to college children and money

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "college children and money"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One graduated public school and is on to a great school with merit scholarship.  Their entire school k-undergrad cost us $140k.  Second child spent 4 years of HS in private (over $200k) and is applying to a variety of colleges, public and private, some cost over $80k per year (so potentially over $320k).  That's what child number two needs - the large public HS didn't work for their needs.

We are not going to give child #1 cash because child #2 had different needs.  You pay for what your child needs, it's not a contest between them to keep score and make sure it's even.  You are setting them up for a life-long rivalry[/quote]

NP.  You're creating life-long rivalry by treating them differently.  You think you are treating them fairly from your perspective but not from theirs.  Ofcourse, it is your money and you can do it however you want but it comes at the cost of the relationship with your children.  You have to decide.
[/quote]

Only if you have raise entitled brats.  What normal 20 yo thinks---hey, my sibling got private HS for their learning disabilities, but I went to public HS, so where's my $100K?   [/quote]

That is not equal.  Learning disabilities is a separate issue.[/quote]

That's the entire point!  There are reasons for everything, and it's a sad life if your kids are raised to think they need to keep track of every $$ spent on them and their siblings.

As long as the parents are willing to spend on travel sports for all kids (and don't just self select one) or music or whatever tutoring/medical care/etc the kids need, they are provided for.  The kids each get exactly what they need in their life.  If a kid doesn't want to do an expensive sport in MS/HS they are not entitled to extra money.  Likewise, if one kid gets a 5 year old car because that's what is available when they start driving and the next kid gets a new one (because hey the older kid got the 5 year old family car), the first kid is not entitled to extra money.  Sure if you want you can help when they need a new car, but I cannot imagine my kids complaining that they did not get a new car and sibling X did.    My kids are grateful that they got a good car to drive and don't have a car payment when they graduate college.  Because they were raised to not be entitled brats.

fyi--in our family the one who got the 5 yo car also went to college that only cost $40K after merit, the other 2 are attending $80K+ universities.  First kid is not asking for "the difference".  They are just happy they don't have student loan payments like most of their friends do.  They plan to drive that "older car" until it has 200K+ miles on it (and that would be another 5+ years).  They do know if they ever want to attend grad school we will pay, but it's not likely anytime soon.  Yet they are not asking for the difference between them and their siblings.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics