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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I were you, I would talk to the mother-in-law and speak in terms of the safety of the puppy versus whether or not you want an untrained dog in your house.  It's a puppy is only three months old and a small breed, it will be very tiny, and potentially in danger from the children and other animals in chaos that will be occurring in the house at Christmas.  And that's how you talk to your mother-in-law. Explaining that a crate or playpen is the safest for the puppy when it's not attended. If she wants the dog in the main part of the house, the puppy should be on a leash so that she can see the cues to go outside or even the queue that the puppy is uncomfortable, scared, or anxious. [/quote]

You people are crazy.  OP is allowed to say that she doesn’t want to have an untrained dog crap in her house.  The puppy’s happiness is immaterial.  The MIL is invited to enjoy her family under certain circumstances and if she doesn’t like those, she can decline.  That’s how hospitality works.[/quote]

NP here, and way to go... PP's point went straight over your head.

The PP is saying that the OP should work smarter, not harder. 
The PP is saying that she should approach her MIL with the dialog that OP's concerned for the dogs safety & well being. 
That someone could step on the dog or accidentally hurt it, and with so many people coming in and out of the house, the dog could run outside and nobody might notice -- and then it will be unfamiliar with its surroundings and completely lost.

As someone whose entire job used to be negotiation, I can tell you that the PP's approach is FAR more likely to produce the results that OP wants, and far less unlikely to alienate her MIL in the process by offending her.

Sure, the OP can be stubborn and rigid and stick to her guns by telling her MIL just how disgusting she thinks her dog would be, but that approach is unlikely to get her out of hosting the dog, AND if she actually DOES mange to get out of hosting the dog after telling her MIL that, their relationship won't be unscathed afterward because her relationship with her MIL will suffer for some time to come.  Why would she want to hurt/offend/alienate her MIL if she doesn't have to?

But sure, let the OP go with your "honest" approach rather than utilizing reverse psychology.
I'm sure you're just wonderful at negotiating with such a stubborn, negative, "I'm right & brutally honest" approach.
No negative reprocussions there, lol.
[/quote]

No, I totally understood it, but OP is then turning the decision over to the MIL when fundamentally it is not her decision.  No one should go out of their way to offend family members, but neither should they hand power over to family members to behave inappropriately.[/quote]

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