Reply to Parents- nix these behaviors in your kids before they go to college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.

[/quote]

Oh FFS stop using their disabilities like a crutch. The professor is right and if your poor addled ADHD kids you have probably hovered over and made excuses for and bulldozed a path for over the years can’t meet basic expectations, you failed them. [/quote]
dp.. obviously, people with ADHD have a harder time, but seriously, you cannot keep using this crutch into the workplace. Your boss won't care that you miss deadlines, and your coworkers won't care if you have adhd when you smell so badly no one wants to be in the conference room with you.[/quote]

I agree that you cannot keep using those excuses forever, you have to learn to navigate life with the cards you are dealt.  However, everyone knows that the human brain is not fully developed until 25-28 and if you have ADHD/EF issues (they go together) then you will "improve" and develop more coping skills as your brain more fully develops.  Thus an 18yo who needs some guidance from their parents/others can easily develop into a fully functioning adult by age 24/25 if given the right tools.  So those of us who helped our kids develop those tools in ES/MS/HS and begin to let them become more independent know that college is a huge change and that we need to help keep them on track.  I'm not talking doing stuff for them, I'm talking about checking in, helping them Role play how to talk to a professor or the dept head or gate keeper about getting the classes they need/changing majors/getting tutoring and studying assistance/etc.  Otherwise most kids will get into a funk and just spiral downward---we parents of ADHD/EF kids know that and our goal is to help them, not do it for them.[/quote]

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