Reply to stubborn senior declaring she would rather die falling at home than go into a nursing home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After visiting my aunt in a nursing home over the last 2 years, I never want to be in one. It’s no life. My 80 yo dad feels similarly and I would do anything to keep him out of one. He has made plans to age in place. If that is not an option, perhaps your mom would be more open to moving to independent living or assisted living should she need it. I have healthcare POA for loved ones and I will always honor my family members wishes. If you can assure your mom you will do the same, it might help. Make it clear a nursing home would absolutely be a last resort (for example advanced dementia). [/quote]

Have you visited assisted livings? There are some very nice ones with social activities. We had an inlaw age in place. Not being able to walk or feed yourself at home is pretty grim. those who went into nursing homes at least had lovely settings where we got visit a garden and more people around than a hired caregiver on her phone who is hoping he'll take another nap soon. The house easily falls into disarray even when adult children try to check on things. Neighbors who were once kind are exasperated because they have to make a stink about how the house is kept from the outside, sometimes when the next shift caregiver shows up they block a neighbors driveway, they are still low down on some emergency list they agreed to 8 years ago and now they get a call. Just as old people can be snobby about living around other old people and don't wants special communities for old people, a lot of young neighbors are overwhelmed balancing young kids and work and extended family and they start to lose their patience with the entitled elderly person insisting on aging in place.

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