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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pp here- many states are not community property states but rather equitable distribution which could require lots of legal fees to sort out and argue who gets what: it’s not automatically 50-50 and he could certainly work hard to argue that he gets to keep more because he earned it. Either way she doesn’t have access to funds which is frightening. . Op is also super vulnerable if he up and leaves: she would have to get court order to pay bills etc if he refused. It’s really unfair that op has no access to finances.  He is using money to control and because she is not currently working because she is totally dependent on him.

If he goes part time and refuses to do household stuff then you should make him
Pay for the cleaners out if “his” money! Or out the entirety of your Kay heck in your account and he gets to do the family budget from his part time job. [/quote]

OP here and I learned that we live in an "equitable distribution" state.  What that means, for the most part, is that my spouse's personal account is considered a marital asset (minus what he had in there before marriage, which was nothing).  It's considered a marital asset because he deposited money into it during our marriage that wasn't solely his money (like an inheritance would be). This is from a bit of amateur google legal research, so if anyone else has more professional knowledge to share, please do so.

However, PP above is correct that if the two parties can't agree on how to split assets equitably on their own, then it may require a bit of a legal process to sort through, and many things are taken into consideration by the court.  Things like age, future employability, contribution of one party to the increased earning power of the other party, contribution by a party in appreciation of property, established standard of living, etc.

Also a couple surprising stats:
- Among U.S. couples who are married, in a civil partnership or live together, 43 percent have only joint bank accounts.
- Many couples (34 percent) have a mix of joint and separate bank accounts, while 23 percent have completely separate accounts.[/quote]

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