Reply to Christmas—Is this selfish of me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not surprising the consensus is assuming the In-laws don't want to see the DIL outside of their child and/or give them the opportunity to develop their relationship with her without their child being the go-between. [/quote]

There are 364 days that aren’t December 25th in which they can prove to her they want to develop an independent relationship with her. Just wanting Christmas looks like they just want to be served.[/quote]

Don’t be so obtuse. Christmas is a major family holiday. Having children involved makes it even more fun. God forbid grandparents want to spend the holiday with their son’s family. I mean the sheer audacity of them because DIL wants to sulk around the house all day because husband has to work. You women here are the literally the worst. You are all about excommunicating the in-laws when you put a ring on it and making sure they know they are no longer welcome.  [/quote]

She doesn’t want to “sulk around” she wants to spend the holiday with her family— just like you think she should right?

If the in-laws want to be welcome by just the daughter-in-law they need to have a relationship with her where she wants them around. You don’t get to just show up on Christmas for fun with the cute children, you have to put in the work the other 365 days. It sounds like they don’t. Maybe they’ll do better next year.[/quote]

OP is absolutely planning to spend the day sulking - "I really don’t want to have to deal with hosting them on top of my own disappointment and tending to the disappointment of my small children. I’d rather be alone if he has to leave."

You are projecting your on feelings about IL onto OPs post. You have ZERO idea how they are on a daily basis to her much less the other [b]364 [/b]days a year. [/quote]

OP repeated said she plans on “celebrating”, with her parents, with children, with the inlaws on another occasion, with and without her husband.

[quote] I’m just picturing what the day will look like if they make the over-an-hour drive to our house and then five minutes later, DH gets called in. I really don’t want to have to deal with hosting them on top of my own disappointment and tending to the disappointment of my small children. I’d rather be alone if he has to leave.

Or, with that said, I’m also considering inviting my own parents over later in the afternoon, after presents are opened, to [b]celebrate [/b]our own Christmas. If DH is there, great. If not, that’s ok! This also leaves a completely open schedule to otherwise plan when to [b]celebrate with ILs[/b] on one of DH actual days off. Plus my parents are just helpful.

DH said it sounds fine, and he won’t even tell his parents he’s on call and they can just assume he is working and I’m visiting with my family, and he will in advance plan when [b]we will celebrate with his family[/b] to circumvent any expectations for the 25th. His mind is primarily focused on working that day, as he assumes he will be doing, so he isn’t giving this the emotional fortitude I am![/quote]

"OP is absolutely planning to spend the day sulking"

Sounds to me like she plans on "celebrating", repeatedly. [/quote]

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