Reply to Anyone else lose their groove during Covid with young kids and still not have it back?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I'm pissed this thread became a pile-on of a bunch of people telling anyone talking about their struggles that actually they don't have struggles and should stop talking about it. I think a lot of you have MAJOR issues that this is how you choose to spend your time.

Anyway, I'm going to go through and report a bunch of these comments as off-tope and ask Jeff to clean up the thread because I actually do think it could be a source of support and commiseration for people who need it. If that's not you, you can go away. Thanks![/quote]

I'm convinced these are the same people who, during the height of pandemic shutdowns, daycare closures, indefinite remote learning, etc., were telling anyone who had a hard time that their children were "thriving."  Completely pathological.

To OP and the rest of us who feel similarly: you/we aren't alone.  Hang in there.[/quote]

Thank you.

I don't get what's happening in the thread. I feel like I became a punching bag for people who are mad about something but I don't even know what.[/quote]

You're welcome.  I think it really is the same "we're THRIVING" people, the ones who either had no empathy to begin with or who lost it due to the stressors of COVID.  They're putting you/us down to make themselves feel better, and because you're the OP, they're going after you.  I've been there, too, and it's awful and unfair.

One thing that's helped me some is a book called "Real Self-Care," by Pooja Lakshmin.  She's a psychiatrist with expertise in treating women, and the book talks explicitly about societal failures to support women and also how to work on putting yourself not last.  It's a fairly quick read and for me, was worth it.  Not that I have my groove back, but it's given me a bit of hope, even amidst my cynicism.[/quote]

Thank you, I'll check out that book. It sounds on point.

I've been thinking about this whole idea of "putting myself last" this afternoon and one thing that strikes me is how at some point, I made a lot of my "me" things stuff that is useful for the family. Like among my hobbies: baking, organizing, deep cleaning. Seriously. And I do actually enjoy those things. But sometimes DH will take our kid to a playground on a Saturday morning so that I can deep clean the bathrooms, and then in the afternoon he'll go for a long bike ride by himself. And in a way we both got our alone time to do something we enjoy, but.... cleaning a bathroom is not the same as going for a bike ride. But I literally don't have the equivalent of that long bike ride, that thing that gets me out of the house and away from all the responsibilities there and that is purely for enjoyment and for me and not for everyone else, too. It's sad.

And I did use to have that stuff. I used to have an expensive, impractical hobby that took me away and was really just for me. But I think the ship has sailed on it (I don't want to go back and it's even more expensive now and just blah) but I haven't replaced it and I don't even know how because I'm so out of touch with what even makes me happy at this point. It's like "I'm happy when the chores are done and we know what we're having for dinner and my kid is getting her needs met." So I spend all my time doing that, but that's really not "me time" you know?[/quote]

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