Reply to Anyone else lose their groove during Covid with young kids and still not have it back?

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Reply to "Anyone else lose their groove during Covid with young kids and still not have it back?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So much of this thread resonates with me. We had a 4 year old home with us for the first 8 months of the pandemic - and she was wonderful, we were so lucky that she was great at independently entertaining herself (even if it made our house look like a bomb went off), but it was still incredibly mentally taxing, esp. when adding in all of the other Covid stresses (grocery availability, weighing risks of seeing older family, financial hits, extended family drama, holding down a demanding remote job). Vaccines seemed to be the light at the end of the tunnel, and we did decide on that second kid, only to have the first Omicron spike start right as she was born, so back to isolating. On the heels of that, older kid started getting hit with every imaginable virus at school - missed 30 days of school between K and 1st. So no, I don't feel like we ever came close to 'returning to normal', and my default tendency to put myself last (thanks, family of origin) has resulted in extreme burnout. Childcare options are still majorly limited, feels like we just white-knuckle it from one household infection to the next despite taking every precaution, there's almost no room for 'fun', much less self care, on the calendar...I recognize there are other people who have it harder. But for those recommending medication - honest question, how does that help when the depression and anxiety causes are very real, not merely a function of brain chemical imbalances?[/quote]

OP here and solidarity on being someone who puts yourself last and then has to deal with the burnout. And yes, it's something I learned very early in life. I think this is something I learned in the pandemic, what the limits of that are. But one challenge I have is that it will be like "don't put yourself last, but also we need you to do this for your kid and this for the school and this for your ILs and this for my own family, etc. etc." I have learned to say no more, but then I have to deal with people being upset with me or trying to guilt me into it anyway (extremely common with both my family and ILs and sometimes even my DH).

The other problem is that even as I get better at saying no to others, I just have no real idea of how to say yes to myself. I don't even know what I enjoy anymore. Exercise has always been a good outlet for me, but during the pandemic I began exercising mostly on my own. And now that it's possible to go back to exercise classes or rejoin a gym, they are SO expensive and it feels extravagant (not really even sure we could afford it). What I really need is more opportunities to be social and make friends but it's so hard to do that while balancing family needs and work and also finances. I know I sound like I'm making excuses and I guess I am. It's just been hard.[/quote]

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