Reply to Wife is super rigid about showing up on time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm secondhand embarrassed for all these people railing on OP when they don't know basic good manners for visiting people. (I suspect a dose of misnadry, but I wouldn't accuse it.)

An invitation to arrive at 5 means you should  arrive *after* 5. It's rude to crash a host before they are ready, and absurd to arrive exactly at a specific minute.

A good host announces 2 times: an "arrive after" time, and a "dinner is served" ("arive before") time.

https://emilypost.com/advice/party-etiquette-tips-for-hosts-and-guests[/quote]

Thank you for this. I suspect all these “you must show up exactly on time or else it’s disrespectful”and “if you’re on time you’re late” posters don’t actually get invited to many social events in people’s homes. Even Emily Post acknowledges a 15 minute grace window for arriving and has the sense to tell people dear lord do NOT show up before your invite time. I find it amusing how many people think they’re so much superior for their rigid adherence to time, but they’re actually the ones struggling with social norms. [/quote]

Again, official rules of etiquette are not necessarily applicable for close family. If the OP's wife thinks her parents want her their at the specified time, that's more important than the general rule. They may want her help with something. My in-laws always want my DH there pretty early for family meals, for example, because he's the one who brings the folding tables up from the basement and sets them up.[/quote]

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