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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've seen this, too. I saw a three year old bite her little sister, hard, and get nothing more than a casual "we don't bite." I was shocked.

This new "time outs are cruel" school of thought is a nightmare. Yes, sometimes there are natural consequences that can work, and that's great, but Jesus, if you take a chunk out of your sisters arm, you can go sit by yourself for a hot minute. [/quote]

Time outs are cruel because they leave kids alone at the point where they probably most need connection. Removing the child from the situation and staying with your child as you explain what they need to do better is ideal. And you need to balance that with giving your child positive attention when they are behaving well so they don't misbehave in order to get attention. Isolation should only be a punishment if you really cannot be with your kid at that moment. [/quote]

PP here. Yeah, you're the problem. Sorry, I think this is crazy. You're teaching your kid that if they want some quiet time with mom they should bite someone. You don't give positive attention/connection when a kid just did something BAD. There's no amount of other positive attention when they are behaving well that will weaken that crappy message you're sending.

And to call time outs "cruel" is just absolutely absurd. They don't need "connection" in that moment, they need to LEARN that biting is UNACCEPTABLE. [/quote]

DP. You have no idea what you are talking about. To a young child, the possibility of losing the connection to their caregiver is as TERRIFYING as death. They are vulnerable and totally dependent. You pick them up, calm
them down and then correct. Most laissez faire parents fail in the correction phase, it’s not enough to just talk about it, there has to be skin in the game. [/quote]

What do you do in the correction phase if it's not just talking? How do you get skin in the game?[/quote]

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