Reply to Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness

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[quote=Anonymous]I am also a physician's wife whose hours will never change.  My family is 200 miles away, and they are all close in proximity to each other.  Sisters at each other's houses, going to dinner as a group, my parents watching their kids all the time, etc.  It's hard to be away, hard to hear the fun and so hard to hear "We missed you!" = they mean it with love (they do wish I was there) but all it does is re-emphasize the fact that I wasn't there.  So here's what I had to do:
 -  I don't call their houses when I know they are all there together.  It makes me too sad; I call at a time when I can just have a chat with one or the other and not have to hear them all together.
- I have found a good friend who has kids my age and whose husband also works a lot of hours.  We do dinners together with the kids at least one or two nights a week.  We take the kids off on adventures and just support each other.  Just one friend is all you need.  
- Where did I find this friend?  DCUM!  When my first child was 6 weeks old, I was home, not working, knew no one with kids in DC.  I posted on DCUM to start a playgroup and it snowballed from one reply into a nice, warm, caring mommy group.  We've kind of all gone our separate ways since the kids are now older and life has a way of moving on, but I've kept in touch with some and have established a deep bond with one.
 - I have stopped wishing things would change with my husband and his schedule.  He LOVES what he does.  He LOVES where he works.  We are not going to move back "home".  It took awhile, but I have accepted it, and formed my own life here.  You need to try and do that.

One the nigths that he is late and the kids are alreayd asleep, I think of it as a gift of "me time".  I do yoga.  I watch TV that I know he wouldn't want to watch.  I read books.  Give yourself a break, give yourself a gift of time and good luck.[/quote]

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