Reply to SIL constantly escaping her family life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]This is sexist, straight up. Let’s replace the genders[/b]. Pretend it’s a husband that is not around much. He’s a dentist or a surgeon who works every Tuesday evening and all day Saturday or he’s in the National Guard and he is gone one weekend a month and 2 weeks a year in addition to his 9-5 job. He’s also training for a marathon and long runs take 2-4 hours once a weekend.

This all seems reasonable doesn’t it? Hardly the source of so much worry and gossip.

I get it to some extent - I never spent that much time away from my kids when they were that young. I didn’t put them to bed every night, but I also didn’t spend the night away from them more than a single night here or there for a work trip or a family wedding. It’s not how I parent, but I don’t think the SIL’s approach is wrong or concerning.

The issue is that her husband doesn’t agree with the balance of her time and she is not willing to compromise. Compromise does not mean she drops all of her hobbies to be at her family’s beck and call every moment. It may mean that she goes camping 4x a year and runs 2 marathons instead of 4 - freeing up some time for the BIL to have his own hobbies too. [/quote]

Are you kidding? It's the opposite. She's not a surgeon, she's a SAHM! If someone came on here describing a husband who didn't work, didn't do any childcare apart from scheduling activities that he left it to someone else to execute on, spent all his time training for marathons and on camping trips and volunteering at a kids' camp his kids don't even go to (WTF?) everyone would say the DW should divorce him (because he's having an affair, or dead weight, or both).[/quote]

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