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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 19yo ds is into the red pill. I have let him run his mouth about it to see how far down the hole he has gone. Most of it is about politics/economic structure (matrix) but it has also given him significant motivation to work hard and take care of himself - almost like a guide for what it is to be a "high value man." I have not heard misogyny but I am his mother and he knows how I feel about Andrew Tate.

Now, if I were dating a man in his 40s or whatever who referred to anything re Red Pill or used the words OP said he did, I would be out of there immediately. [/quote]

You believe you're being smart and cagey, letting him "run his mouth" so you can gauge how far his thinking goes. But you're actually being naive (a term I feel sure will make you furious, but...you are naive.) Why? "I have not heard misogyny but I am his mother and he knows...." etc. What you have "heard" means exactly nothing. You have no idea what he's reading online, what he's writing in posts, what is inside his head. Just because you haven't heard comments you think are clearly misogynist, that does not mean he isn't engaging with others you don't know, and isn't buying every idea they're selling. He's your little boy and knows not to spew red pill misogyny in front of mom; that does not mean he isn't absorbing and internalizing it. But you seem to think it's good enough that you haven't heard it and he knows how you feel about ONE commentator. If you don't actually dig into what he thinks and tell him in no uncertain terms he's wrong, you have abdicated your role as a mother of a young man who is going to end up just another red piller, treating women...the way red pill men do.

And you even find the silver lining! He's working hard and taking care of himself to become a "high value man." The fact you present that as a kind of positive is baffling. Men can, and do, work hard and take care of themselves without the inspiration of this particular way of thinking. You sound desperate to find some kind of "up side" to your son's descent into this way of thinking. Well, he'll be buff, at least. [/quote]

Hello. My point in saying "but I am his mother" is acknowledging that he is not going to tell me everything. He knows exactly how I feel about misogyny. I have abdicated no role. I do a lot of listening but to do that I have to do less shutting down. I think there is a lot of conflation with red pill and incel mentality as well. We have had a lot of discussion about that. DS hates the incel mentality.

I would also say that the most important parent on the matter of teaching these lessons to teen boys are fathers but somehow that seems to get overlooked. My main point is that this red pill stuff is maybe somewhat more socially acceptable for young guys trying to find their way in the world but more concerning if a 40yo man is still looking to it for guidance .

I found this article to be eye-opening about it when it comes to young people: https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/andrew-tate-jail-investigation.html

[/quote]

You are perpetrating his world view by saying it should be fathers to impart this worldview! Does your DH tell him unequivocally that women are just as capable and deserving as men? Over and over? My DH does to our older teen boys. I would not tolerate less.

To you, I warn you that your son may cut you off. That’s what my red pill brother did to my mom. Think about where decades of blame will land him.

To OP, have you thought about what this guy might do when you divorce? Spew hatred to your kids. Make your life miserable. Again, what my brother does to his ex and daughters. [/quote]

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