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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] By different state laws the spouse gets certain percentage of joint assets if other spouse die. Not “all your money”.  [/quote]

If I commingle my money with her money then she gets my money, which she does not deserve except via the legal technicality of marriage. So why would I do that?

[quote]So if I put my own money on downpayment with a spouse and service mortgage equally on that joint property , why should his kids get the house paid off by second wife ? [/quote]

What Virginia says: "If there are one or more children of an ex-partner or ex-spouse, who is not the surviving spouse, then these children will stand to receive two-thirds of their deceased parent’s estate, divided equally among each of them, and the surviving spouse will receive the remaining one-third of the estate that is left. "

If we contributed equally to the purchase of the joint property and joint assets, then she is getting a "free" one-third just for being married to me. She doesn't deserve that as much as my kids do.

[quote]I just don’t get it. Your kids should get the other half from their birth mother, not from your second spouse, who probably would live with you at least 20 years (much longer than you kids)  [/quote]

In my particular case, XW will have a much smaller estate - and may even use it up completely before she dies - so the kids will get little or nothing from her. I don't need kids to get anything from second wife - but I also don't think second wife should get anything that my kids should get.

[quote]And divorce is not that disastrous or negating benefits of joining incomes and acquiring assets as you describe. [/quote]

Uh, I was already married once so I know [i]exactly[/i] how difficult and expensive it is to disentangle marital assets. Not interested in doing that again.

[quote]Particular if there is a prenup clearly stipulating what’s joint and what’s separate. Alimony is what usually causes frictions and dragging it in courts, thus it’s wise to parties to mutually waive it in prenup. [/quote]

Prenups get thrown out all the time.

[quote]If we didn’t join it 15 years prior, we would be nowhere near the level of wealth at the end of the marriage. I consider it a major positive outcome. [/quote]

If you wanted to take the trouble, I'm sure you could calculate how much you'd have had if you maintained separate finances. I doubt the delta between two separate asset pools and one joint pool is all that much. (Assuming you have comparable incomes and brought comparable assets into it.)

[quote]Hope you share the views with women you date. [/quote]

I tell them straight out I'm not interested in marriage. They're ok with it.[/quote]

You don’t commingle assets. That’s not what I said at all. Your previously acquired assets should be protected in prenup and no, they are not thrown out often if done right.
Now, the 2nd wife who contributes equally and is with you through your old age stands to get 1/3 of your half of your  joint martial estate (NOT 1/3 of all your estate). Thus, it’s 1/6th of a jointly acquired marital residence for example.  towards which she’s put a downpayment and contributed over a long second marriage. It’s really not that much she gets for her own added security when you are done. Your kids are not more “deserving” to get an extra 1/6 if they weren’t taking care of you, and your second wife was.

Your position is clear: second wife gets nothing even from joint assets.she literally should provide you care for free.  Great that women are ok with that, but anyone with minimal brain considering a long term partnership with you would not be.

Of course it’s fine if you arrange for your own care and rely on your kids in old age. I just don’t see anyone sticking long term as yoir partner at all. [/quote]

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