Reply to If you had an affair with a married person

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Betrayal sucks but the person who betrayed you is your cheating spouse, not anyone that they were having sex with. If your spouse doesn't respect you or value your marriage (and that's the big issue here), don't expect anyone else to. [/quote]

Like another poster said, a lot of women, possibly betrayed wives themselves, like to infantilise men like they are innocent babies who will fall for any harlot who crosses their path.  No woman can insert herself into a marriage with a man who values monogamy with his wife.  I’m not saying a “good” marriage.  I don’t have a good marriage in my estimation but[b] DH’s loyalty to me is not a question in my mind.[/b][/quote]

It isn't in any woman's mind who has been in a long, loving married to a man for over 20 years, with kids, having good sex and a man that tells her he loves her every day.  Men they thought had good character and were honest, loyal and morally decent people.

Kind of missing the point there: women are blind-sided every day. COMPLETELY BLIND-SIDED.  I can't tell you how many women I know who thought the same as the bolded about their spouses.[/quote]

That person is missing personal responsibility for morality, character and empathy.  This post wasn't about what do you think of the cheater or why the cheater cheats or the betrayed misplacing blame on the OW/OM.

The question being asked is: how can a 'good' person who claims to be empathetic and kind, bang a married person and be complicit in an affair.  'Good people" don't do this type of thing and think poorly of any married man or married woman that is propositioning them---no matter how attractive or well-off, etc., etc.,  They have empathy and put themselves in the betrayed spouse's and children's shoes.  They have a CONSCIENCE.  This was begging the question solely for the co-cheaters.

The answer overwhelmingly on this long thread was: they don't care.  They don't care and they have no qualms or morals about doing something crappy that will greatly hurt someone else.  They are along for the ride.[/quote]

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