Reply to Boyfriend blows up every time the house is messy

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[quote=Anonymous]A lot of people with anxiety look to the external world to find something to control and that can be their houses. Anxiety makes them feel out of control of their thoughts / feelings and overwhelmed by their internal emotional state so they try to regain a feeling of control by cleaning or organizing or having things all be just right in the house so that they feel something is in control. Sometimes they try and control other people, not just the physical environment. No one likes to feel out of control and it is pretty typical to look to what you can control around you when you feel out of control of your internal emotional state or thoughts or some aspect of your life.

I would also say though that generally really neat and somewhat messy people are just not a good fit. If you read posts on here there are many who are upset by a spouse leaving their clothes all over the floor or leaving all the dirty dishes overnight or leaving their stuff just whereever they used it. Your boyfriend isn't atypical at all in that sense. It isn't uncommon at all to see partners have disagreements about cleanliness or cleaning expectatiosn or order / organization in the house.[/quote]

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