Reply to Is this a legitimate reason for a divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op again- the friend issue is easily identifiable if he reads this so I don’t want to give as much detail, but basically was a close friends surprising and verbally aggressive attack toward me for feeling slighted from an event. Both my husband and I were at fault for the perceived slight, but the friend chose me to attack and my husband threw me under the bus and let me take the heat. He was present when it occurred. [/quote]

You may be in the right on both of these issues, but from my perspective you've set up a dynamic here where he has to prove his loyalty by jumping in on your behalf. It may be that he just has a really different perspective. My spouse and I have a similar dynamic.[b] I try to live drama free and with good intent so if someone is nasty to me is catches me by surprise. I would not tend to yell or attack back because[/b] to me that's a loss of control and that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I would talk to the person afterward in private and offer support to a spouse in the same way.

I think you should take stock of the good and work on the bad, but don't expect that everyone is going to react how you think they should react. That's not realistic.[/quote]

I think you're missing that MIL and the friend were only nasty to OP, not her husband, even though these were decisions they made together. Would you really stand by smiling weakly while someone tears the person you're supposed to love most in the world a new one? That's piss-poor partnering, in my books. I'd feel unsupported and resentful, and the marriage likely wouldn't last. Weak sauce. [/quote]

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