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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here: Thank you. Good point. But at the same time, some people clearly do care about the choices made by me and men who date even younger women. Many accuse us of of beeing creepy, gross, and even predatory. My point is that some post-menapausal (older) women are (maybe subconscously) more interested in me now. Obviously the women who seem to be more interested in me are not the women who post on DCUM (even though they are professionals, well educated, progressive, upper middle class, etc.).[/quote]

I'm a woman that has been married for 20 years, and we have a 12 year age gap. We married when I was in mid-20s. I probably have daddy issues (father abandoned us), DH is wealthy, and I also experienced something very traumatic right before we started dating, so was looking to feel safe and liked that DH seemed normal and settled. So yes - I think people are correct when they see people in these relationships to assume there are underlying issues that bring people together. DH likes intelligent women, but he also wants someone attractive and doesn't find post-menopausal women to be attractive because I think he assumes that the sex wouldn't be good. Now that I'm in my 40s, this worries me and I wish there was someway I could stop menopause from happening. From an intellectual standpoint, I think he may have been happier with someone his own age. Also, even with ED medication, older men can't completely satisfy younger women. Despite all that, we have had a wonderful marriage, and I consider him my best friend.

OP, I included your quote above because I think you also categorize women as pre and post menopausal. Sex is really important to you. It's possible that this extra attention is all in your mind.

There is also another possibility. Assuming that what you say is true: specifically, women seeking you out for conversation, this would indicate to me that unlike the typical man looking for a younger woman, you are a man that genuinely likes women as people and doesn't see them as objects (doable/not-doable) and women sense this and enjoy talking to you as a friend. If you are in a serious relationship, this could lead these women to want to talk to you even more because they don't have to worry about you thinking it means anything and they genuinely enjoy your friendship. If you really are this kind of guy, you probably weren't seeking out this age gap relationship on purpose. I have only known maybe 5 or 6 men like this. They typically have a lot of attractive female friends and other men assume they are sleeping with these women, but really it's just friendship.

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