Reply to I meet a lot of moms, but no one wants to be my friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you need good friends at this age anyway? Don't you have them from high school, college etc? Between work and volunteering and hobbies and kids I must talk to 50 people a day and they are all friends of different levels of closeness. We live in a very populated area. It isn't too hard. I think you might just be expecting too much from others.[/quote]

Good for you. You're not OP. What a jerk response.[/quote]

I didn't mean it jerky. I'm not that outgoing and it just seems like people are amazingly friendly that I meet and I always feel bad I don't have more time for them. I meet people running, at the baseball park, playground, PTA. Most people with kids don't have time for many really close friends and with kids your life is an open book related to kids or closed off on personal matters you only discuss with your spouse. Moms are close with people for the time being while they are doing that activity. I would talk to one mom at the bus and then when the kids went off to different middle schools I rarely saw her. We are still friends though. Just not close ones. I just expect that most friends in my adult life will be like this. We will enjoy each other's company while we do things together. We are all capable of being friendly, sharing stories, and making plans to do things together. They aren't helping me out though in a financial crisis or anything like this though. They expect me to be an adult and make my own decisions.[/quote]

OP- THIS response is everything and sums up the DMV area.  People here take a very looong time if ever to really establish closeness and let their guard down.  Way more so than other areas, it's just part of the culture.  You are expected to already have a circle and everything you add to it is just gravy. Good luck[/quote]

Yes this is partly true. By the time people have kids they are usually close to 30. They have friends from the first 30 years of their life. Also family. Also a spouse. Many people also work and have work colleagues. The people I know who have time for endless socializing are either low class and work odd jobs with a lot of downtime and chit chat about things other people say, experiences they’ve had, and tv shows they watch around four hours every day. The other group with a lot of time are rich stay at home moms who walk the dog with others, work out with others, help out at the school, and attend parties regularly. All the people in the middle are just trying to balance everything. We have time for an hour of friendship chatting a day and nowadays the phone eats into that time. [/quote]

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