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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a similar thing OP.  We did our first all-class party for my DS's 5th.  It was afternoon (3-5pm) and we had juiceboxes for the kids and beer and wine for adults.  No one touched the beer and wine (I think maybe one dad had a beer).  Prior to this, our kids' bday parties had been with our friends and their kids of various ages so we would always have drinks, but that's definitely not the norm for these school parties.  I felt a little self-conscious about it (like you!)[/quote]

Thanks! Same with our friends.

You know, I bet you're right--its also just comfort level with the folks around you. I know that a lot of parents (understandably, given how judge-y everyone is) never want to do something others might look down on. So perhaps most people would have had a drink at a close friends' house, but just didn't want to be "that parent" who goes for the mimosas first :)

May explain the sheepish looks on the faces of those who did grab a mimosa. And the one dad who grabbed a beer. [/quote]

Nail on the head. I have lived in the DMV now for going on 18 years and this is so true. People here are generally uptight and career driven at these events many are  trying to figure out who the other parents are and what they do. DC has a lot of ladder climbing types, it can be a small town (especially in certain industries), and you have a lot of very high level people in visible positions where they cannot be caught doing anything compromising. There’s a lot of concern about maintaining a professional image. I mean, I joined a DC mom’s postpartum support group and quickly realized that my fellow moms were there to network and stay busy on maternity leave, not actually be (gasp!) vulnerable, open, share honestly, or discuss difficulties in the postpartum time (despite it being a group exactly for that). A lot of the women remained very tight lipped and only in one on one conversations after many months did some of them share that their life with a newborn was not the rosy life they shared on social media or in our support group. The whole experience was eye opening and also made me feel crazy because I didn’t grow up on the East Coast and in the Midwest people generally do not remain guarded for nearly so long once you get to know them. But here I have known people for years who literally never do let it down. It’s very unique to this area.

OP I think it was a nice gesture but probably better to do something like that when you know the crowd and people feel comfortable cracking a beer and day drinking without fear of judgement. Personally I know I myself hate day drinking because I then have to still care for my kids, so I rarely if ever imbibe. My suggestion for next time is to just have jugs of coffee and flavored/sparkling waters.  Coffee is universally liked by parents and no one will feel judged for drinking that. [/quote]

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