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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, there is a husband and wife in my neighborhood who are extreme with the gate keeping/social engineering. The husband decides which men can all hang out and the wife with women. They are incredibly manipulative with their subtle put downs and exclusionary actions. If someone moves to the neighborhood and they don’t think they’re acceptable for their clique, the husband usually starts to spread subtle rumors about the new family’s husband while the wife will say something more like that the kids were mean or bullying. If she notices that one person has made a new friend, she will become the new friends best friend in order to ensure she remains in control of social interactions. Same thing if they decide a family is out of the clique. Cutting people out of group text messages, etc, back stabbing, victim playing, and down right lies. It’s sad because one family is making a neighborhood toxic for people with young elementary children since they control the neighborhood social scene with an iron fist. It’s been going on for years and no one will stand up to them because anyone who tries is branded a bully and their children excluded. [/quote]

This exactly happened to me. I was very good friends with the woman (queen bee) and her husband grew up in the area and was exactly like this. She purposely excluded my child from something and because I was better at meeting people she would often do exactly what you’re saying. It got to the point where she was excluding me. I completely backed off from the friendship and that group. I saw people on an individual basis in the group and I just starting making new friends in my neighborhood that weren’t in a group. I had always been friendly to everyone so I had a lot of acquaintances outside of the group I start to make plans with. Fast forward five years later, that group no longer exists. That woman has very, very few friends and my own family knows so many people and we are in lots of social circles. Just do the right thing and treat people
how you want to be treated consistently. I often invited a friend who didn’t have many friends to things I was included in, and this was for various reasons, maybe they just moved here or were very shy.  Treat everyone the same, don’t show preference for people in the main group. People remember how you made them feel and I certainly know many who are always reaching to be friends with a certain crowd.  Sometimes dynamics shift as it did in my case but I think if you realize your community is going to be around for a long time you see the importance of
building positive relationships with everyone. You never know how your paths might cross later. [/quote]

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