Reply to Everyone around me has 3 kids....

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Everyone around me has 3 kids...."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Same here. It only solidified my decision to have 2. It is just chaos, all the time. No thank you. [/quote]

Exactly. The whole meme of the frazzled mom who hasn't showered in a week and whose house is a disaster so does not appeal to me. It seems like lots of people think that's the only way to be a "real" mom, but I'd much rather have a manageable life. Since DH and I both work full-time and it's very important for me to have the time to keep the house clean, laundry done, etc. 1 child is enough for us. I don't understand the deification of stress and suffering in the parenting community.

If you can easily handle 3 kids, go for it, [b]but if you *know* it'll stress you out, why put yourself through that? It can't be good for you, your marriage, or your kids. There's no shame in stopping with what you know is a manageable situation.[/b][/quote]

DH and I are going to try for #3 next year. We have a good situation, both work from home and make enough to have a nanny (although at 2 and 3 a nanny isn't really more expensive than daycare).

Right now I would say we have comfortable control over our life. And we like it. And we are kind of scared about the chaos that is going to come with #3. We think it will add stress and difficulty, although I am fairly certain I will still shower daily! I don't think it will damage our marriage, we are pretty solid. I think that would be the one thing that would stop us actually, because we feel like the marriage is really important for the kids.

[b]We feel that you endure the first few years for what the rest of your life looks like.[/b] I want three adult children. Three teen children. Big Christmases, lots of grandkids. I know the diapers and toddler stage will be hard. But we're already almost halfway through that. And once we're on the other side? We have our little pack forever. [/quote]

[b]The first few years with 3 are the easiest.  It gets harder getting three to all of their activities...[/quote][/b]

I have 3 kids. The baby/toddler years are physically exhausting. 2 older kids are in activities and I have a toddler who does activities during the day.

People with older kids always tell me it is all about carpooling. [/quote]

Yep. It’s easiest when the 3 are young. Gets so much harder and hectic with 3 in school, managing separate sports/activities/play dates, all have very unique needs etc.  It’s hard to feel like you are fully meeting each kids need plus finding time for yourself and your marriage. Each additional kid adds a lot if you really want to give them your all. [/quote]

DP - yeah, you’re forgetting how rough it is when all three are little, if they’re even somewhat close in age.  The tantrums, the waking each other up, one kid sprints away at the park or climbs a tree and you have to rescue them while leaving the other two to fend for themselves, the sheer volume of bodily fluids…

The problems are different as they get older, absolutely, and they’re not easy.  But this tendency for parents of older kids to insist that it’s actually harder than when they were little is garbage.  IME, barring special needs, it’s an issue only in families in which they let the kids run the show in terms of number of activities, etc., or when the parents are crap at staying organized.  If you’re crap at staying organized, don’t have three kids.[/quote]

I have 3 kids (first 2 are close in age and then a 5 year gap until #3). Getting the older 2 to their activities is just logistics. When my first two were baby/toddler age it was way more exhausting. And the third kid is a toddler now and keeping her from constantly getting into stuff, dealing with meltdowns, etc. it way more tiring than setting up a car pool or buying the right sports equipment. I’m fairly type A/organized and find scheduling/planning so much easier than the unpredictability of young kids.[/quote]

I think it varies from person to person. I found the early years with 3 much easier. Sure there were tantrums, sleeplless nights, nonstop on the go, but I really didn’t find any of that stressful or over the top exhausting. It’s the preteen and teen years that are hard.  Meeting their various needs can be tough, and it feels like so much is more on the line to get it right these days especially when considering your child’s mental health.  Sure the million activities is annoying to deal with but that’s not the part I find mentally exhausting   [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics