Reply to My wife is furious with me for not standing up for her when my brother told her off.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Uhmm…of course you are a father figure to your three teenage stepdaughters who live with you half of the time.  That’s not a thing that you can just opt out of.  You are just a cold and distant father who doesn’t like them very much.

Best case scenario, they realize this relationship between you and their mother is terrible, they don’t like you, and they don’t come around.  
More likely, though, they will grow up thinking this is how they deserve to be treated and that it’s reasonable for important men in their lives to be kind of distant and unempathic  and not really love them or take care of them.  100 bucks says that at least one of them cuts.

If you really took the time to understand where your wife was coming from, and you otherwise treated her and your stepdaughters with love and kindness, then the fact that your brother didn’t take them on vacation wouldn’t be a big deal.  It’s only a big deal because you don’t love them, don’t really even care to try, and this is an obvious proxy for that.  [/quote]

No. Best case scenario they direct their paternal expectations at their actual father. And their step father continues to reinforce appropriate boundaries. He is not there to paper over their own father’s shortcomings. Let their dad pay for a trip to Dubai and take them there if that is what they want. It’s not up *their step father’s brother* for Pete’s sake.[/quote]

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