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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s interesting to me that so many people have responded to this thread given how vague and confusing OP’s fist post was. Having worked my way through it, I think the people attacking OP are just triggered by this general topic and rushing to project their own issues into the discussion.

For all the posters saying the rich brothers should be repaid from the estate, why are you saying that? If they had provided money to Grandma (or whomever, OP is not specific) via a formal loan agreement with repayment terms, then yes, they could likely claim the outstanding balance as a debt owed to them by the estate. But nothing OP has said indicates that they provided the funds on a loan basis. Instead, it sounds like at least the 3 better off siblings (OP and the 2 rich brothers) send money to their struggling Grandma just to be good people, while the 4th couldn’t afford to. While it sounds like the rich brothers’ checks to Grandma were a lot bigger than OP’s, she also sent the money she could afford to and contributed 10x the labor of the rich bros.

Now Granny is dead or dying and wants her $80,000 (or whatever) estate to be split evenly among the. 4 kids. The brothers are p*ssed off that OP and the poor sibling could get $20k each, because they think they own all the money in the estate due to their contributions. But they don’t, because whatever money Granny  received from these kids over the years was a gift and became hers to do with as she saw fit.  They also ignore OP’s contribution of labor. It does make the multimillionaire brothers seem petty, cheap and entitled to be going after their other two siblings for this cash.

At least that’s how I see it, but OP has made us all guess at the blanks in her story. [/quote]

OP here. Yes, that’s about right (except even less $$!) and additional drama surrounding other aging relatives. Thanks for being patient.

You are right I have been vague and confusing. I guess I really just think making a federal case out of it by posting every detail is not my aim. I wanted to understand why the very wealthy act this way, and I got some good answers. But in retrospect would have been better to post a more general question about the psychology of the very rich Wall Street types. I just felt surprised to be living my own minor chapter of Bonfire of the Vanities.

Anyway, I pledge to love and tolerate my rich bros, since I now understand that wealth is a mental affliction (and that they may be struggling on a 7-figure income). [/quote]
Drama among rich people over an estate worth less than 80k is a tragedy. Does have some Succession elements to it. Sorry you are dealing with this. Hopefully your brothers will develop some shame in time. I will note that grief can make people act in ways they ordinarily wouldn’t, and deaths in the elder generation can stir up sibling resentments because people feel like kids again. It’s best to not make any final decisions about relationships in this situation. [/quote]

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