Reply to S/O How do you justify having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly what’s the big deal if he cheats? Your marriage sucks otherwise DH wouldn't be having an affair. He’s obviously bored with you and you’re delusional if you think he’s happy. [/quote]

If my marriage sucked so much, why were having sex multiple times a week at DH’s behest (and my enthusiastic agreement)?  If our marriage sucked so much, why did DH beg me to stay in the relationship when I revealed that I knew he was cheating? If our marriage sucked, why did DH participate in marital counseling and tell me all kinds of things (lies) to get me to stay in the marriage and continue to have sex with him?

If he did it for the kids, why did he not take any custody of the kids after I kicked him out (after finding more evidence of lying and cheating)?  If it was for the kids, why has he never in 2 decades of divorce, bought a house with an extra bedroom for them or provided beds for them to sleep in. (Two decades of being relegated to a blow up mattress or sofa bed takes its toll on the child/parent relationship, especially when its abundantly clear that he has money for this.).

Also, he was cheating by year 1.5 of the relationship (by his own admission), so it’s not like he had a lot invested in terms of time and money, unless you consider the fact that I was poised to finish graduate school (which I paid for myself in cash from savings earned prior to marriage) and had a job offer at a high salary upon graduation.

TBH, he was abusive and manipulative, but outwardly everyone thought he was a good guy - even his affair partners who were happy to live their own life of self-delusional in parallel with his life of self-delusion.  Self-delusions as you, PP, appear to be willing to similarly embrace. [/quote]

It sounds like your DH was likely cheating before you were even married. [/quote]

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