Reply to Daughter double-pierced her own ears without my permission

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, [b]You[/b] are the parent. It is quite simple, if you do not want her to have them, tell her that she has to remove them immediately. If she does not, ground her, take her phone or something else that will get the point across. Ear piercing is not a big deal, but respect is. [/quote]

Ok. So the lesson is don’t ask permission then just do what you want. Very respectful that way.[/quote]

May I ask what you mean exactly? OP said that she had asked prior, but the answer was 'No'. [/quote]

Next time she won't bother asking. Duh. If mom says no to everything and is unreasonable then why bother asking permission? Just do what you want. Then "oops sorry!" when it turns out she doesn't like it or, God forbid, finds it "trashy". She will smile at you and say she had no idea you would mind. You really can't see how this would play out?[/quote]

OP here. You are making incorrect assumptions. I don’t say “no to everything”. In fact, the opposite. We have a wonderful relationship and I rarely have to say no. Hence, this act was a bit surprising. I was simply asking for help in talking about it with my daughter. [/quote]
NP. What's to talk about? It's something harmless she did, and it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things.

If this is her biggest act of rebellion, consider yourself lucky. [/quote]

Here's the thing:  If her goal (conscious or not) is rebellion, and the response she gets is "looks great!", then she has to move on to nose or lips or whatever for more successful rebellion.  It's a tricky dynamic. [/quote]

The response can be to just ignore, not "looks great!" Don't even mention it as if it was never even noticed. She probably just wanted a double piercing and thought her mom was being an unreasonable uptight loon for forbidding it years ago. This isn't necessarily some cry for help where now she has to up the ante. Maybe she simply just wanted the earrings and figured it was her body and her choice.[/quote]

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