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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a working mom with a pretty impressive job.

I think the women who really think their husbands care about their resumes and view them as equal professionals are delusional.  Men typically care to the extent you’re not giving them a hard time, it makes their life easier, and they are okay financially.  A marriage is NOT successful because the wife has an impressive resume and it gives her husband a hard on. [/quote]

I agree with this. DH doesn't care at all how much money I do or dont make. He's happy if he's getting laid and I don't give him a hard time. Appreciates it when I dress up and look nice. Appreciates that the kids are smart (due to genetics and environment) but probably doesn't care that I am.  I have a fancy resume and so does he but it's not a big deal to him.[/quote]

Not true in my circle. [b]When wives have "impressive" jobs (successful doctor, lawyer, policy etc) the men in our circle are very, very focused on it.  It's seen as a real status symbol.  [/b]

Of course, i assume that the type of women who are less focused on careers end up with men who are less focused on women with careers - so they are probably happy together. Likewise, women and men who are both very into women have high professional aspirations are likely to end up together.  In other words, people end up with the type of person they should. [/quote]

Perhaps this is a new money circle??  Yes, in some cities like NY viewed favorably to have a big job.  But there are plenty of SAHMs married to very successful men.  [/quote]

In my circle those very successful women quit to become stay at home moms once the kids arrive. I just look around at my private school. [/quote]

You usually can’t tell if someone is a SAHM or not just by looking.  [/quote]

Also, at the most expensive privates the majority of the moms are 45 years old by the time they have a kindergartner. So they may have had a 20 year career before having kids. [/quote]

We're in public school, but this is me and this is one reason why I find threads like this, and the attitude of some about SAHMs, weird. I actually only SAHMed for a few years and have been part time since, and am now actually planning to go back for a second graduate degree in order to do a career pivoting my late 40s. But I remember when I decided to quit my job when my first was born and I had colleagues who were like "oh no now you'll be dumb and boring and your husband won't respect you anymore!" I was 39, had out-earned him for much of our marriage, and felt I'd done everything I wanted to do in my career. My husband doesn't think I'm dumb or boring -- he asks me for career advice and thinks it's too bad I have zero interest in politics because, according to him, I could finally get that ham sandwich elected.

Some women SAHM because they want a new challenge, not because they are afraid of having a "real" job or don't want to have to think. It's so sad to discover how much women devalue the work of caring for children. Early childhood development is fascinating and finding out how to nurture your own child is deeply rewarding and interesting. I can't figure out if the people who don't understand this are just pretending they don't realize that because they couldn't afford to SAHM or really don't understand it. Either way, it's sad.[/quote]

So you're someone who enjoys the company of children and is apathetic about current events.

Yeah, I wouldn't really consider you smart.[/quote]

NP - not even taking into consideration the fact that not enjoying politics is not the same thing as being apathetic about current events, this is one of the more messed up comments I’ve seen on DCUM. Only those of average or below average intelligence enjoy the company of children? Maybe this is why my kids’ teachers always comment about how they are so awesome and enjoyable to talk to. My have kids whose parents actually like them and enjoy spending time with them. [/quote]

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