Reply to Father not involved in child’s life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. [b]But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.  [/b]

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?[/quote]

I'm a woman and I can see that there's nothing confusing about it at all. He is loving and involved with his older kids because he wanted them. He's not loving and involved with your friends kid because he didn't want a kid with someone that he'd known briefly.  And that's likely never going to change.

Your friend can get child support, but that's all she's getting from him. She needs to assemble her village with her own family and friends. She made a choice to be a single parent and now she, unfortunately for the kid, will have to be just that. [/quote]

+1.[/quote]

+2. Sucks all around, but she made a unilateral choice to keep the pregnancy knowing he didn’t want to be involved. He is making a unilateral choice not to be involved. I’m not sure what she thought was going to happen - that he’d come around? - but both have to live with the choices they’ve made. It really is that simple. [/quote]

He can make a unilateral decision not to be involved but that’s going to be a costly decision. He’s already going to be 24 months in the hole, 16 years to go.

OP your friend will be fine— with child support she’ll have a lot of the perks of a dual-income family. It’s a shame this will be calculated on his income after child support to his ex but…[/quote]

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