Reply to DD adamant she doesn’t want kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Np, and I think your daughter is smart. If I could do it again, I doubt I would have children. [/quote]

Why?
Do you think it is overrated ?  [/quote]

The realities of parenting constantly change. It's not overrated, but it's more layered and complex than I bargained for. Namely, that it never ends, and in many ways, the complexities intensify and morph as they get older.

There are so many phases to parenting that, looking back, the stage of raising young, sweet, and innocent kids was the easiest. My young adult kids suffer from anxiety and depression, and I feel increasingly ill-equipped to handle the challenges, which I think are a hallmark of their generation. Overall, today's young people seem unhappy and emotionally unwell, and I question if this state will persist into future generations.

Future parents need to be mindful that they are birthing the next generation, and in many ways, that is nearly impossible to plan for without a crystal ball. What matters today may be irrelevant in 15/20 years, and you will have raised them with obsolete values. Knowing what I know about the current world, I wouldn't have intentionally brought children into it because it's too challenging to navigate.

The op's daughter is wise beyond her years to question if parenting is right for her. I wish I had given it more profound thought and not been led by biological pull.[/quote]

Thank you for this. I decided around Op's daughter's age that I did not want kids, and I still don't now at 33. I think I would really enjoy being a mother for the first 12 years or so, but helping a teenager and then young adult navigate life terrifies me. I had such a hard time mentally and emotionally (OCD, anxiety, and dyslexia) in high school, and I feel like I barely made it out alive. I am happy with my life now, but that is mainly because I found a partner who loves me and supports me and that was just good luck. The idea of bringing someone into this world to possibly have to go through what I went through just doesn't sit well.  [/quote]

PP here, and no problem. Many parents feel similar to what I've expressed, but unfortunately, speaking on the dark/ugly side of parenting is still surprisingly taboo. I applaud any young person who explores the topic, wrestles with it, and then makes the best decision for themself and their would-be offspring. Parents who pressure their children for grandchildren are selfish and egotistical. "Just Say No" should be a socially acceptable campaign for drug use and parenting. [/quote]

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