Reply to Sister recently said our Stepdad sexually abused her

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Reply to "Sister recently said our Stepdad sexually abused her"

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[quote=Anonymous]So your plan is to go, take your kids, and be hypervigilant until they’re tweens/early teenagers? You’re going to let them sit on step grandpa’s  lap and read stories at Christmas until they’re 9 or so? Or you’re going to tell them they can sit on everyone’s lap but step grandpa? When one of them bonds with him, and goes to him to kiss a scrape and put a bandaid on their knee, you’re going to step in and cause a scene to keep step grandpa from doing a seemingly perfectly normal part of grand parenting, except he’s a child molester who might be grooming your child? You’re going to normalize his presence and teach your kids to respect his authority? You’re going to let them hug him when they say hello and goodbye? What happens when they ask for him to be the one to tuck them into bed? Or when they want grandma and step grandpa, and it’s a little crowded for you and your wife to join? Do you pick those moments to say no thanks, Mom and Mr. Molester, keep your hands off my kids? Or do you go along with the situation to keep the peace?

You know child molesters don’t just decide to act one day and then it’s over don’t you? They groom their victims? That word gets tossed around a lot but have you ever really considered what constitutes grooming? It’s all those little actions that build trust, make you feel secure, and normalize what he wants, the things that make you second guess yourself because he’s such a nice guy. Well yeah he patted her bottom, but that was normal when he was a young man, he probably patted everyone’s bottom from his kids to his secretary to his football teammates. Then you’re not sure what’s really happening so you say you’ll watch more closely, but damn these men are sneaky. The manipulation and mind games are more than a child can navigate, and he’s clearly had practice.

Don’t be more upset with your sister for calling out your parents’ immoral and illegal behavior. Be angry with your parents. Talk to your wife, and please talk to a therapist. That you’re thinking your parents are okay but your sister is a problem and you’re considering feeding your kids to a child molester because he’s not a rapist, just a groper, that all says you don’t have the healthiest perspective of family and responding to problems. [/quote]

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