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Reply to "He's cheating. Now what?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you will also need to contend with how you will handle this with your kids. If you decide to stay and the kids ask where the dad is, what will you do? Will you lie for him? To what degree will you lie to protect his secrets and your marriage? What if your kids find out one day and realize you both have been keeping this from them? What might this do to their senses of trust and their own ability to be in secure relationships?

I mention this because your story sounds a lot like my in laws. My mil decided to stay but they kept it from the kids, she covered for him, but the kids found out as adults. My DH has slowly done the work to realize the parts of his parents marriage that were dysfunctional. This work is ongoing. DH’s brother is 40 and perpetually dates younger and younger most recently hitting 20 years old. I don’t understand the full pathology of it but knowing him and their family it is like he has in inability to become emotionally intimate with a woman and thinks that what his parents modeled is somehow normal. My in laws are both normal people and pleasant to be around, but they also live in a world of secrets and unspoken hard truths. You wouldn’t notice as a friend but as an in law it slowly became glaringly obvious. [/quote]

I do feel like this type of living normalizes keeping secrets from others.[/quote]

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