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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Posts like OP’s always stir up such venom and sanctimony.  The suggestion that a cheating spouse can’t love their kids or be a good parent is ridiculous.  Another poster hit it right on the head: most cheaters don’t ever think they will get caught, are compartmentalizing and the parenting part of them is often doing just fine.  It’s only when they get caught that there’s a problem.

No one knows what’s going on in anyone else’s head, and no one is in any position to judge anyone else’s parenting simply because there’s infidelity in the marriage.

It’s interesting.  I follow the college admissions forum and I see a lot more damage being done to children there than the theoretical damage that can be done by a cheating spouse.  [/quote]

It's true. You have to separate the damage of cheating on a marriage versus on a parenting relationship.  You can probably be an above average parent and a terrible spouse, but one aspect of parenting that you are failing in modeling a healthy relationship.  If your kids do find out, you've set them up for some hard times ahead in their own relationships.

Serial cheating, however, is death to a healthy marriage because of broken trust and respect.  It's hard to respect someone who cheats and lies. It's hard to be in partnership with someone you don't respect.   Where there is infidelity, there is often financial infidelity.  Maybe OP can wrap her head around the flings but if she uncovers how much of the family's finances he has spent in pursuit of other women, she might lose it.  For example, what if he spent $5000 on a trip and gifts for his mistress, but they're still not done with the kids' 529 plans?

People stay in unhealthy marriages for all kinds of reasons.  I get that an unhealthy marriage may seem better than being a single divorcee to some. I personally don't know anyone who has a healthy marriage after discovering serial cheating, but there are probably examples out there.  [/quote]

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