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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] Thank you for the moral support. I know I am fortunate to have options and be financially secure. I just don't want my kids to grow up with divorced parents. The thought kills me. I know people do it everyday. But I just can't imagining bringing that pain on my children and would do anything to avoid it. I feel sick and like everything I have tried to build in my life has just gone up in flames.[/quote]

OP, I am so sorry.  Please know that it’s your husband’s actions that would cause this pain to your kids - even though that does not change their experience.  I agree with PP who suggested your DH may have sexual addiction issues, if the cheating is as frequent as you suggest with different partners.  Whether or not that’s it, he needs therapy to figure out his issues.  You need to take a step back and give yourself time to figure out what you really want.  Confronting your DH and telling him right away that you want yo reconcile gives him all the power and no reason to change his behavior.  Don’t offer that right away.  Go to survivinginfidelity.com for great advice from people who have been there.  Most of all, know that you deserve much better.[/quote]

NP but I agree with the post above. OP I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can completely relate as I'm smack in the middle of a very similar situation. My first tip is to be very careful with who you share this information with. You have to trust them not to hate your husband if you decide to work through it. When I found out, I told 2 close friends and their immediate reaction was to divorce and take him for all he's worth. Clearly we are very different people and characters and that is not something I wanted to do. Now they act cold towards him and I regret telling them in the first place.

Like you, I don't want my kids growing up with divorced parents. We've work hard to build a strong family life over the past 15+ years and it kills me to throw it all away. Honestly, I think it's going to take a long time to know where to go from here. One day I'm so angry I can't look at him, the next I'm thinking of all the good times we've had together and can't live without him. It's a whirlwind. Get a therapist and talk to a divorce attorney, just to get a sense of what can happen if you go that route. (most offer free consultations). and yes, get tested for STDS :([/quote]

+1 op sadly this is true to REALLY consider who you tell. My friend had a similar situation, decided to stay and it wreaked havoc on her friendships, sadly. People have a very hard time understanding, I was shocked at how little empathy folks had for our friend (I totally understand op! I would probably be the same as you. fwiw my friend and her spouse seem to be doing very well and I'm very happy for them).[/quote]

Oh and for the pp, I just want to add since it sounds like you are in the middle of it that many of my friend's friendships DID recover. Time heals a lot, I'm sure the hurt will always be there for her with the friends who took more time, but things have gotten a lot better. honestly I don't think there is any excuse for the behavior of some of our friends, but if we're trying to figure out why I think it's that this kind of thing destabilizes things a little bit for everyone and some are not mature enough to realize that their reactions are more a reaction of self preservation themselves - like oh I would do this differently or my morals are somehow higher so if I react this way it somehow protects me from this happening to me, it would never happen to me. We know all of this isn't true, but it's what people do in hard situations, sadly. Wishing both of you a much less stressful future, no matter what direction you take.[/quote]

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