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[quote=Anonymous]I have two children. The younger is quite challenging. Twice I have grabbed her shoulders in anger where she’s said “that scared me” or “ouch” and it’s really upset me (and hasn’t happened in awhile). Neither left marks or bruises. The only time I can think of that either of us ever left marks on our child was when my husband was carrying our older DD and slipped on ice. He didn’t want to drop her, obviously, and held her tight. She started screaming and ended up with a hand print / finger marks on her thigh. It was clear that it had really hurt / scared her (my DH meanwhile was also quite sore as he used his arms to hold her and didn’t put them out). I think grabbing your child enough to leave bruises is pretty forceful. (Our DD got sick and had to go to the Dr a few days later. The doctor asked about the hand print on her thigh, of course.)

That said, could you start therapy and raise something like “he has anger outbursts and I’m worried he will hurt our child” without raising the specifics. I wonder even about a discussion where you could be honest and say “there was a single incident, which prompted us to seek therapy. But I don’t want to share detail at this point.”[/quote]

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