Reply to Strategy for having multiple children as an older lower energy FTM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not sure why everyone is saying stick with one. I am a introverted SAHM, but when we had two my husband worked in big law. One kid was much more draining with one than two as a sahm. With two there was a playmate, to distract, but still one bath, one dinner to prepare, one hour at the playground, one hour book time.  Even now when they are older, I still find it easier. I don’t have to do every puzzle, board game, etc with just the one. Easier for the introvert in me I think

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Oh how cute, your kids are playmates. Mine have been at war with each other since the youngest was mobile (2 years apart). You cannot assume the kids will be compatible playmates.[/quote]

Yep this can backfire. Even in the best-case scenario it takes at least 2-3 years before the youngest can truly play with their older sibling. My niece and nephew who are built-in playmates require a lot more hands-on parenting and cause a lot more stress in the household than my only child who can play independently. [/quote]

Honestly I feel like the "built in playmate" sibling relationships are a double edged sword from purely the parenting perspective. Amazing for the kids and wonderful for the parents to take pride in, BUT how do you expect a child to learn to play independently if they literally never have to? What happens when one child starts an activity the other doesn't? Do those kids get individual attention or are they always treated as a package deal? What does the other kid do when one is getting individual attention? Admittedly I see this sibling BFF dynamic usually in families with 3 or more kids, but it seems like there's usually a trade off in skill development when kids grow up with this dynamic. Sometimes kids need to be bored and alone to learn how to navigate those feelings in life. [/quote]

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