Reply to Blindsided by in-laws inviting random cousin to Thanksgiving gathering?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Notice that not once has OP returned to comment on her own behavior during the dinner.

Jeff has checked that this person is not a known troll, but it certainly looks like trolling.

[/quote]

OP here. I haven’t commented on “my own behavior” because literally every response is that my husband should be jailed forever for his crimes. Which is fair to say, whatever, not knowing him I can see that opinion seeming reasonable.

I am not angry at this cousin for not wanting a relationship with DH. I had to come to peace with DH’s actions, and I don’t expect anyone to find that peace.

I’m angry that my in-laws would invite this cousin, knowing very well it would be incredibly awkward, without specifically letting us know. They have every right to invite whoever they want. Had we been told he would be there we would have politely declined the invitation and made other plans. So I, politely, pulled them aside (in private) and expressed this. [/quote]

Your in laws can invite whoever they hell they want and they don't have to clear it with you or give you a heads up first. Hope that clears everything up for you.

I hope you [b]inform anyone who comes to your house that[/b] they themselves or their daughters are at risk for being filmed and or groomed by your husband.[/quote]

Yes, they can invite whoever they want and don't have to clear it with OP, but are you really sitting there saying that that was the "right" call here? What if the cousin didn't know OP's husband would be there? This should absolutely have been discussed, host-to-guest, before the event. No one is owed permission or even notification, but it would have been a good idea. I agree with OP on that front.

That said, the bolded is interesting to me. OP, how transparent are you with people in your actual life about your husband's past? I would be absolutely livid if you hosted my kids/my family without disclosing this kind of information. [/quote]

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