Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The micro level antisemitism in a lot of these responses is really hard to take. These kids work incredibly hard to prepare for this day and families are trying to warmly include friends and family in celebration of that accomplishment. That’s it! We know that non-Jewish guests may not be familiar with certain aspects of the service and party, so we try to communicate it but of course are happy to answer any/all questions. The invitation is not a summons. If you have a conflict, you have a conflict. But hearing it described as obnoxious or interpreting the invites as gift grabs is pretty heartbreaking. If I were invited to a christening or baptism, I would have very little idea what to wear/bring/length of event. Same for quincinera or a multi day Indian wedding. But I would ask and would be honored and excited to join in the joy of the host family.[/quote]

+1000000000[/quote]

What? It isn't "antisemitism" to be annoyed that your chile was invited to a party that consists of different parts at different locations, but you the parent are not invited...oh but you need to drop off and pick up several times.  I would expect the host to coordinate the logistics beyond me dropping off and picking up (once) if I am not attending the party myself.  That is a normal expectation for any party involving kids that cannot transport themselves. [/quote]

It really kind of is. It’s you not understanding the timing of the way the religious event is typically celebrated and being annoyed by this which is mostly outside the host’s control. Think of it this way. Many people have a Catholic mass wedding at a church midday. Then the wedding party has pictures typically. I’ve been an out of town guest at weddings structured this way, and I wasn’t really given anything to do, any transportation, any food or guidance for what to do during that “pause” in the celebration before the party. But I understand that the mass was when the mass was, so I sat in Starbucks in my fancy dress trying not to spill or spoil my appetite because that is what I understood the day to be. [/quote]

Weddings with big gaps between the ceremony and the reception are rude to guests. If you want to prioritize wedding photos over guests, that's your choice, but in that case don't talk about how important it is to have the support of your loved ones on this important day. Turns out it's a photo op.[/quote]

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