Reply to Women expecting other women to be in charge of all holidays/logistics/family dynamics

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I don't understand the people who say that if it wasn't for the women the men would just not do any of this and there would be no Thanksgiving. [/b]

My husband is making the turkey and gravy. But also just this morning my 13 year old son was talking about how much he is looking forwad to thanksgiving.  This year he is making the pumpkin pie.

I have daughters who have dish assignments too, and I ended up doing all the rest of the sides and most of the table set up.  But it is a whole family activity to host a bunch of our extended family.

If it was left up to my husband, we would have just about everything that we have planned except perhaps the brussels sprouts.  [/quote]

You don't understand that in the overwhelming majority of American families, especially GenX and older, holidays are considered women's work?  Seriously?

Even scarier: you don't understand that people are different than you?[/quote]

NP. Can you please site your source for the “overwhelming majority of American families…women’s work” statement? I ask as my husband is literally on the way to the grocery store now to get rutabagas and pie crust ingredients—he makes mashed rutabagas, cranberry orange relish, and a pumpkin pie literally from scratch—as in from a pie pumpkin—every year. He also has a list of Christmas dishes that he will make without fail.[/quote]

Slow clap for you and the PPs on this thread who have better husbands than the rest of us.  That's really what your comment is about, isn't it?

Asking for a source that holiday planning and execution typically falls to women in American society is just... I have no words.[/quote]

Different PP but I actually enjoy cooking; it’s my favorite house hold chore by far. I’d a million times rather cook something delicious (especially if I pick the recipe) than text back and forth with my ILs on logistics. Not saying this is the case for your house but there is no one thing that proves your division of labor is even or even admirable. Anyway some men really like thanksgiving, some don’t, the point is that the cultural narrative says “oh men only have to do things they like and think are important ( and they are “right” about what’s important so their opinion matters more) , but women have to do the things their husband’s family and their husbands think are important and if there’s time they can also do the things they like and think are important but they are HUGE martyrs making work for themselves my god”[/quote]

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